We all have the tendency to judge like Ben in the book 'Change Your Questions, Change Your Life'. The story of Ben can be the story of life of anyone of us: professional and personal life falling apart, excessive stress and sleeping problems, feeling of running away from everything and everyone.
The positive change in Ben's life start to happen, when he realizes that he judges himself, his coworkers and wife and he shifts from judging to learning and starts to ask learning questions.
What are the learning questions? Learning questions gives you an opportunity to learn about yourself and others and not to judge. That is already shift to the more positive side when you practice more learning than judging questions.
Some examples of the judging versus learning questions are:
What wrong did I do again? What can I do better next time?
Why he is such a horrible person? What are his needs?
Who is responsible for all that mess? Am I responsible?
What is wrong with her? What do I value about her?
Why he is asking stupid questions? What is he feeling and wanting?
Can you see the difference between those two types of the questions? If yes, than you will see a the difference in the quality of your relationships at work and personal life when you start to ask more learning questions.
Is it possible to eliminate fully the number of the judging questions? You may ask.
I believe that what you can do is to work on decreasing number of judging questions and increasing to maximum number of learning questions. As it is written in the book 'we are all recovering judges'.
I encourage everyone to read to learn more about the Ben's story, get new perspective on the questions you ask yourself every day and apply learning questions, in order to 'Change your Questions, Change your Life'.